Navigating the Twelfth Month of Fatherhood

Dear Dads,

Congratulations on completing the first year of fatherhood.

What a journey it has been!

As we embark upon the annual review of the rollercoaster ride that is parenting, let us take a moment to reflect on the highs and lows, the joys and challenges, and the countless memories that you have created with your little one over the past year.

The review helps you cherish the moments that made the journey worthwhile and prepares you for the ones ahead.

As you flip the page to chapter two of fatherhood, take a moment to pat yourself on the back. You’ve done a fantastic job. Here’s to more adventures, challenges, and joys of parenting!

Surviving the First Year: What a Journey!

A rollercoaster of Emotions: From overwhelming joy to sleep-deprived frustration, you’ve felt it all and came out stronger.

This is when you might think about what you wish you’d done differently. Be extra kind to yourself here because your first instinct will be to beat yourself up. First, tell that instinct to sit in a corner. 

Then, remind yourself that you didn’t know what you were doing and were learning on the job. You can read all the blogs and books and have all the best intentions going into parenting, but there’s nothing like being in the trenches of parenting. 

You and your partner may have had spats. You may have fought about something six months ago that you don’t even remember what the fight was about and how it started. 

(Those real are the real moments). 

My newsletters can only give you the preliminaries because it’s my perspective.  

My point? You’re a good Dad who has a healthy range of emotions and who needs to feel those emotions without guilt or regret. Every moment is a learning moment for you. And you deserve to celebrate, too. 

Learning and Adapting: Each cry, laugh, and babble has been a learning curve in understanding your baby.

And now you know how to be a parent! Congrats! Nothing will ever change—no one says that. By the way, even though you’ve made it through the first year and know a lot about your baby, everything from here on out will be a new phase, stage, and guessing game for you, but you’ll learn. 

And if you decide to have baby number two, you’ll have to learn all over again.  

If you’re lucky, you’ve learned to go with the flow, adapt, and reroute if needed. 

So everything else will be a cakewalk, right? 

(Ha ha… no. But you’ll be better at swinging with the changes.)

Teamwork Triumphs: Partnering up in parenting has not just been necessary, it’s been the bedrock of your family’s first year.

Your baby has turned one! Of course, there’s a celebration for them. Make sure you and your partner celebrate the excellent job you’ve done. Even if it’s a special night of take-out by candlelight, you both deserve it. 

Adapting to New Roles: You’ve transitioned into a parent’s role, embracing its challenges and joys.

If you’re finding yourself thinking that there are more challenges than joys, you’re not alone. But sit and chew on a few smaller victories, and you’ll find that the positives outweigh the negatives. 

Learning on the Job: From diaper changes to soothing cries, you’ve mastered skills you never knew you needed.

Put down all the negative thoughts you have about mistakes you think you’ve made. 

Then, think about how you would tell someone else they did an amazing job and that they were learning something new, which is always hard to do. 

Finally, tell those things you would tell your hypothetical friend who happens to have gone through the same things you have, that you’ve done an excellent job. Change the word ‘mistakes’ to ‘learning opportunities,’ and be proud of yourself and your partner. 

Building Bonds: This year has been crucial in forming a deep bond with your baby, laying a foundation for years to come.

It’s an incredible and awe-inspiring feeling, for sure. But everything you do guides your child into their next life phase. Taking things one step at a time is always a good lesson for your child. 

Now, you are ready for the next year of learning opportunities and new lessons to instill in your baby. 

Dad’s Mental Health: Keeping Afloat

It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Remember, your well-being is crucial. Regular check-ins with yourself are key.

Sharing the Load: Don’t shy away from discussing your struggles and seeking support. 

If you need help, ask for it. Drop your ego at the door and let it stay there. Mental health is not a place to shrug off or ignore. Keeping a firm grasp on where you are mentally will help you be a better person. 

When you share your struggles, you’ll find you’re not alone and have someone who can guide you in the right direction.

Recognize Stress: Acknowledge feelings of stress or exhaustion and understand they are normal.

Are you snapping quickly or frustrated with something that might occur naturally on any given day?  

If you notice you’re not sleeping, are more agitated, or even snapping at your baby for not eating their snack, you’re probably more stressed than you realize. Step back and assess your actions, thoughts, and feelings here. 

You can ask for help, especially from your partner, and review the best options for where you are in your life. You may have to try several things before you find something that works best to alleviate your stress, but don’t give up. You will find it, and you’ll feel better when you do.

Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to talk about your challenges with friends, family, or professionals.

Always try your partner first. If you’re experiencing something big, your partner can sense it. If you think they are going through something big too and don’t want to ‘bother’ them, know that your partner will want to hear it, despite the problems that might be going on from their side. 

Hiding things or keeping things from your other half isn’t really treating them with the respect they want and deserve, and if you don’t think you can talk with your partner, then you have another challenge to tackle because being part of a team means having open and honest communication. 

Time Management: Balance your responsibilities and find time for self-care.

Learning how to balance your time is a tricky situation, and it will be forever changing, especially if you have a career where nothing is the same on any given day. Remember that there are days when your family will need you more and when your job will require more attention, but when things get out of whack, pivot to avoid falling into a dreaded cycle where you never feel like you’re doing enough. 

Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your growth and achievements as a father over the past year.

If you’ve read the entire post, you’ll notice that I already mentioned this for you, your partner, and your baby. But don’t forget about individual successes, too. This can be little things like diapering your baby in less than a minute or bigger things like overcoming stress with minimal blowout (not the poopy diaper kind). Take an opportunity to wake up each morning or before bed and think about one great thing that happened because of you. 

Do this often enough, and it becomes a fantastic habit you can pass on to your baby and partner. 

Baby at 12 Months: Big Milestones Ahead

Personality Plus: Your baby’s personality is shining through more every day.

Physical Development: Walking or standing unaided is a big milestone at this age.

Communication Skills: Expect an increase in babbling and possibly the beginning of basic words.

Cognitive Growth: Watch for signs of understanding simple instructions and showing curiosity about the world.

12-Month Check-Up: The Big One

Growth Spurt: The doctor will check their growth progress.

Developmental Milestones: Discuss any concerns about their physical, cognitive, and social development.

Vaccinations: A few more jabs might be on the schedule.

Physical Health: The pediatrician will check height, weight, and head circumference to ensure healthy growth.

Milestone Assessment: Discuss your baby’s motor skills, language development, and social interactions.

Future Planning: This visit often includes guidance on nutrition, safety, and upcoming developmental stages.

Pro Tips

• Celebrate the Milestones: Reflect on how far you and your baby have come.

• Stay Engaged: Keep talking, playing, and reading to your baby.

• Look Ahead: Start planning for the toddler years.

This Week’s Dad Joke:

Why did the baby refuse to play peek-a-boo anymore? Because it's time to face the toddler years head-on!

As you flip the page to chapter two of fatherhood, take a moment to pat yourself on the back. You’ve done a fantastic job. Here’s to more adventures, challenges, and joys of parenting!

Further reading: First year child’s check up

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Disclaimer
_{Always check with your partner and or pediatrician before implementing any new practices that involve your children. The information provided is meant for educational purposes. Please do your own research as I have provided my own thoughts, experience, and perspectives on the matter at hand.}