Navigating the Third Month of Fatherhood

Hello again, Dads! You've officially hit the three-month mark in your fatherhood journey. By now, you're a diaper-changing champion, a baby-soothing maestro, and possibly a sleep-deprived coffee aficionado. Let's march into the third month, where the juggling of work-life and baby life becomes your new circus act.

Month three is about finding your rhythm in the new normal. It's okay if you feel like you're in a juggling act; remember, every parent sometimes drops the ball. What matters is picking it up and trying again. Here's to another month of laughs, love, and the little moments that make fatherhood worth it!

Weeks #10–15

You know what that means? 

That means it's time to watch your ears. 

That's right, the peak screech is among you, and while the Tiny Overlord can now hit some high notes in a heavy metal hair band. You'll want to be aware of it because it's here (not hear, haha) to stay. 

Dad’s Return to Work: The Balancing Act

If you're lucky enough, your company will have paternity and maternity leave. This means you get to help Mom out for an extended period and get to know the Tiny Overlord really well, so well that it will be hard to leave him. 

But, if you're less lucky and didn't get to spend time off from your job, you'll understand this section all the same because while Mom is home bonding with the Lil' nugget and learning the baby ropes, you're away trying to focus and keep paying the bills. 

Emotional Rollercoaster: Leaving your baby to head back to work can feel like you're leaving a piece of your heart at home. It's normal to feel guilty, anxious, or even relieved. Remember, going to work doesn't make you less of a doting dad.

There are upsides and downsides to this stage. 

The downside is that you will miss your baby tremendously. There will be days when you wish you were there, you beat yourself up, thinking that you're a terrible father for being away, or maybe even relieved to get out of the house. 

You'll be feeling lots of things. 

None of these make you a bad Dad. They make you a healthy adult who cares about your child and knows that sanity doesn't come from being home all day. 

The upside is that you do get to keep part of your identity. Yes, you're Dad now. But no one can ever be one thing, right? Our brains aren't wired that way. 

At work, you can chat up the water cooler, show pictures, and listen to others use grown-up words without covering up the baby's ears. 

Being well-rounded gives you a better opportunity to appreciate your Tiny Overlord.

Yes, you are going to miss your baby. Yes, there will be moments that it sucks.

All of it is okay, keep moving forward and the worst parts will pass.  

Stay Connected: Technology is your friend. Check-in with home during breaks. A quick photo or video can brighten your day (and possibly make you rush home faster than ever).

Depending on where you're at and what role Mom takes, whether a working Mom, part-time at-home Mom, or stay-at-home Mom, anyone can send pictures to your phone! If you have a caregiver or a daycare, ask them if they have a video monitor; most do! You can get to see your Peanut in action. 

Efficiency is Key: At work, be as efficient as possible. Prioritize tasks to get the most done during your working hours. This means less work stress hanging over your head at home.

Like having a routine at home, having one at work is essential, too. Maybe you already have something dialed in there, and it won't take long for you to fall back into it. 

But, if you've never had one, or have the type of job that requires you to fly by the seat of your pants, try to plan through the chaos to make it home for all the wonderful things waiting for you—and some of the realistic things that are there too… Yes, poopy diapers won't go away for a while, folks. 

Home Front: Nailing the Post-Work Routine

Baby Time First: When you get home, dive straight into baby time. This helps relieve your partner and gives you some precious moments with your little one. Diaper duty awaits!

Think of baby time as your time for your brain to unwind. It may seem as though taking care of a baby isn't the best way to relieve your stress until your guy or gal squeezes your finger, smiles because they're happy to see you, and cuddles into your arms. 

Of course, the smile might be gas, and they may spit up on you a little now and then, but it's still a change-up of what you were doing at work unless your work is a little weird. 

Household Ninja: Help out around the house. Doing the dishes or laundry might not seem heroic, but in your partner's eyes, you might just be wearing a cape.

Mom needs help here too. 

Plus it's a great way to clear away the clutter of your mind. 

Keeping your space clean and organized means your brain is also clean and organized, which you all need to be the best partner and parent. 

Quality over Quantity: The time you spend with your baby might be limited, but make it count. Be fully present, whether it's during a feed, a bath, or just cuddle time.

Make every moment you can be fun. 

If you're exhausted, and if Tiny Overlord is crying for no apparent reason, take this moment to switch up what you are doing with them. Tell them you love them, even if they won't say it back yet. 

And, if the baby is crying, a change of scenery or activity might shake up the tear fest, giving you a chance to enjoy that you've helped save the day and make some smiles happen. 

Keep the Spark Alive

Date Nights: It is important to get back in the grove and connect with your partner. Think takeout and a movie after the baby's asleep. Taking the baby on a stroll together can also bring opportunities to reconnect. Take initiative!

Date night is essential for you to remember who the other person is. No, looking across the kitchen table and telling your partner they have baby puke on their shirt isn't the same thing as taking a walk outside and having alone together. It's not the same as watching a movie in a movie theater sans child, or going out to a nice dinner with no baby demanding to be fed first. 

You guys had a ton of laughs before the baby was born. Make sure they keep happening long after.

Every positive step you take in your relationship shows your child what kind of relationship to be, so when you go out for date night and communicate well with your partner, you're really doing it for your child. 

(See what I did there?) 

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Talk about your day, your feelings, and listen to your partner. Parenthood can be a wild ride, best navigated together. 

This might be hard to tackle when you're exhausted and frustrated, and the baby won't stop hitting those high notes, but that's mainly what you can talk about. At this point in the game, it's going to be where you might forget the other person has feelings, is overwhelmed, and probably is thinking the same things you are, but your mind is a mess of songs from noisy toys, deadlines at work, and the screeching child in the corner. 

Despite all that, carve that time out for you both to air your grievances, don't take offense, and vent the crap out of all your feelings. 

Things will start to seem better after. 

When they do, add it to your weekly or daily routine! You'll feel better more often than not. 

Safety Tips

1. Supervise Tummy Time: While tummy time is crucial for development, never leave your baby unattended. It helps build their neck and shoulder muscles but should always be supervised.

2. Bath Time Safety: Never leave your baby alone in the bath, not even for a second. Always check the water temperature with your elbow to ensure it's warm, not hot. Or use a thermometer.

3. Secure Your Space: Start baby-proofing your home. Cover electrical outlets, secure heavy furniture to the wall, and keep small objects out of reach.

This Week’s Dad Joke:

Why did the new dad bring a broom to bed? Because he heard his partner say it was time to sweep the baby off to sleep! (Pro tip: Don't actually do this.)

Month three is about finding your rhythm in the new normal. It's okay if you feel like you're in a juggling act; just remember, every parent drops the ball sometimes. What matters is picking it up and trying again. Here's to another month of laughs, love, and the little moments that make fatherhood worth it!

Further reading: Tummy Time

If you find this helpful, don't forget to share this with other dads.

Disclaimer
_{Always check with your partner and or pediatrician before implementing any new practices that involve your children. The information provided is meant for educational purposes. Please do your own research as I have provided my own thoughts, experience, and perspectives on the matter at hand.}