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- Navigating the Fourth Month of Fatherhood
Hey there, Dads! You've officially hit the four-month mark. If fatherhood were a video game, you'd be leveling up right about now. This month, let's focus on two key players in this game: your mental health and your baby's whirlwind of development.
Month four is about adapting to your baby's new skills and improving mental well-being. Remember, it's perfectly fine to seek help and take a break. You're doing an incredible job; every step, roll, and giggle is a testament to your fantastic dad skills. Keep it up!
Baby Development: Fasten Your Seatbelts!
Laughter is in the Air: Get ready for your baby's first laughs—a sound that beats any chart-topping hit.
Literally, the best sound in the world is when your baby laughs for you.
While some cartoons and television shows only portray kids laughing when someone gets hurt, that's rarely the case. (Remember I said rarely.)
Instead, they'll laugh at strange things like when you break the shell of a hard-boiled egg or some other unconventional thing you've never thought about.
Babies definitely keep you on your toes!
Rolling Over: Some babies might start to roll over this month. Cue the parental panic and pride!
It's so cool. There are so many great moments that happen in this stage.
Your Tiny Overlord is becoming much stronger, and with that, they can do fantastical feats like roll over completely.
Don't worry if they can only go one way. They'll get the other way soon enough.
They'll do it when they are sleeping, too, so remember to change up the bedding in your crib; they get acrobatic; there's no need for any aerial feats just yet.
Sleep Regressions: When you thought sleep patterns were improving, enter the notorious four-month sleep regression. It's like the baby's version of a software update.
Yes, unfortunately, this happens.
Not all is lost, but all is shaken up. Depending on the plan you have with your partner, make sure you have equal duties and equal needs are met.
If your partner stays at home with Lil' Nugget, know they have a boatload on their plate, too. Don't just let things fall on them because you go to work outside the home.
Dad's Mental Health: The Unsung Hero
Navigating the waters of new fatherhood is no small feat. Amidst the joy and love that comes with a new baby, it's common for dads to experience a whirlwind of emotions, including stress and anxiety. Here's a closer look at how to maintain and manage your mental well-being during this transformative time.
Recognizing Burnout: Are you feeling tired, irritable, or less interested in things you used to enjoy? Fatherhood is a marathon, not a sprint, and feeling overwhelmed is okay.
When you snap or feel your fuse is short, that's one of the first signs of burnout. Keep it on notice because if you don't give yourself a break, it will turn from a small fire to a big explosion.
Find Your Tribe: Connect with other dads. Sharing experiences, tips, or just laughing over diaper disasters can be incredibly therapeutic.
You can find other dads with whom to share experiences! This is a whole dad bonding thing, and it is fantastic.
Time for Yourself: Prioritize some 'me time.' Whether it's a jog, a game session, or just quiet coffee, recharge your dad batteries.
Sitting in the bathroom for 40 minutes doesn't count.
Get out of the house or sit in a quiet area dedicated to enjoying yourself.
Just like it's essential for your partner to get time alone, it's vital for you, too. Parenting, for all its glorious rewards, is a tough gig. It's probably the toughest thing you'll experience for the rest of your life. If your head is in the right space, you'll make things much easier on yourself.
Talk About It: Bottling feelings is like shaking a soda can—eventually, it'll burst. Open up to your partner, a friend, or a professional. Sharing your experiences can alleviate some of your stress and strengthen your relationship and co-parenting efforts.
As men, we're in a precarious situation. Many of us were raised not to express our feelings or talk about them because it wasn't the 'manly' thing to do. But that is wrong. We are humans, not robots; no matter how cool a robot nanny would be, we have feelings and need to learn to talk about them.
Every action and choice you make shows your child they can have what you have or shoot for more if they want to. Get to know yourself, and talk about your feelings. None of them are wrong, harmful, or incorrect.
Knowing your feelings matter and letting them out will help you feel understood and heard. It'll take a massive chunk of pressure from your shoulders and have a domino effect of goodness you won't know until you experience it.
Self-Awareness: Pay attention to more persistent signs of mental health issues such as prolonged depression, severe anxiety, or feelings of detachment from your partner or baby. Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND) is accurate and affects dads just as moms can experience postpartum depression. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're experiencing these feelings.
This is an essential message to your ego.
Just because it feels uncomfortable doesn't mean you should avoid it. Learning about your strengths and weaknesses and facing them improves every aspect of your life. You'll be a better employee, partner, and, best yet, a better dad.
I've known men who are incredible people who want to solve the problem themselves or don't think that professional help can work.
The problem with trying to fix things on your own, especially when you don't know what's wrong or what to do or have no experience fixing things, is that you get stuck.
When you get stuck, you can start in bad cycles, which are harder to break the longer it goes on.
Do yourself a big favor and let your ego go. As incredible as you are, you can't and don't know everything. Letting someone help you is a big step in the right direction for a healthy, thriving life.
Baby and Daddy: Growing Together
Engage and Educate: Your baby is becoming more interactive. Reading, singing, and playful activities boost their development and strengthen bonds.
Be the Calm in Their Storm: Babies can sense stress. Your calm presence can be soothing for both the baby and yourself.
Engage and Educate: Your baby is becoming more interactive. Reading, singing, and playful activities boost their development and strengthen bonds.
There are LOTS of things you can do with a Four-month-old baby. Get down on the floor with them and see things from their level. Say colors when you see them so your baby hears the name and begins to associate 'yellow' with a 'school bus.'
You can hit the bonding time and teaching time every opportunity you spend with your Tiny Overlord.
It's really cool.
Be the Calm in Their Storm: Babies can sense stress. Your calm presence can be soothing for both the baby and yourself.
If you need to practice deep breathing or mindfulness, now is the time to start. Don't worry about feeling silly, uncomfortable, or weird. The more you do it, the easier and more familiar it becomes. (We've all felt silly at first, then seen the benefits of it.)
Pro Tips
Stay Alert: With your baby potentially rolling over, never leave them unattended on high surfaces.
Routine is Key: Try to stick to a consistent bedtime routine to navigate the sleep regression phase.
Capture Moments: Keep snapping those pictures. They grow up fast – cliché but true!
Health Check: Keep up with baby's vaccinations and check-ups.
This Week's Dad Joke:
Why don't dads ever get lost in the woods?
Because they refuse to ask for directions, just like when they're trying to assemble the baby's toys without the manual!
Month four is about adapting to your baby's new skills and improving mental well-being. Remember, it's perfectly fine to seek help and take a break. You're doing an incredible job; every step, roll, and giggle is a testament to your fantastic dad skills. Keep it up!
Further reading: Dads PPND
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