Navigating the First Month with Your Newborn

If you're reading this newsletter, congratulations! You, my friend, are about to embark on an incredible journey. You're either a new dad or a soon-to-be dad. Welcome to the Dad Club!

This newsletter contains tips, tricks, and experiences you may relate to. The experiences you read about are both researched and from my life. I'm positive you'll share some of them, too.

Today, we're going to tackle weeks one through four. I'll give you some safety and helpful tips for those just bringing their tiny peanut home for the first time. Lots of good stuff in here, even a fun joke at the end, just like a Bazooka Joe piece of gum.

Week 1: Hello, Sleepless Nights!

Lots of things happen in the first week. I'm positive when you bring your lil' one home you'll be overwhelmed, overtired, and terrified that you're going to do something so wrong your child will be scarred for life.

Trust me, you're not alone. We've all felt that way. Whether that is a helpful statement or not, I'll leave that up to you. But what is more valuable is that you'll do an excellent job.

Tiny Overlord (a.k.a. Baby): The baby will master the art of sleep*-eat-cry-repeat (*sleep can be up for debate). Prepare for irregular sleep patterns and an introduction to diaper dynamics.

First lesson—kids are incredibly resilient, so it's easy to fix even when you make a mistake because you will (again, we've all made mistakes). So, try to breathe a little while bringing the baby home. And be kind to yourself if there's an issue with one thing or another. You're still learning!

If you're like me, you may have read a few or more books on how to make babies sleep, eat, change diapers, and more. There's a ton of information out there to help us. But I'll tell you right now - even if you read every book on how to care for the Tiny Overlord, your instincts are always right.

Take the information you get from wherever you get it, talk to other dads, and devise a plan that feels good in your gut.

If it doesn't work—pivot. Change up your tactics and keep going. Being flexible and knowing what battles are best will release much stress you might otherwise hold onto. You'll find something that works, and trust me when I say that as soon as you figure it out, the Tiny Overlord will change up all the rules.

Mom, the Superhero: She's in recovery mode—a mix of exhaustion, joy, and 'why is the baby crying again?' moments.

Mom is going to be exhausted. Her body went through a ton of stuff to bring your baby into the world. She's not jumping into 'go' mode right after, either. She's going to need support, especially if she's breastfeeding. She'll be extra hungry.

Since your baby came into this world, that little guy has made insane changes to her hormones, internal organs, and body chemistry. If you haven't checked out what happens to a woman's organs when she is pregnant, you need it. It's intense.

Dad, the Sidekick: Step up your game—diapers, lullabies, and being the go-to person for literally everything Mom needs, including an endless supply of snacks.

You just leveled up!

Chances are Mom won't want to leave the baby alone, plus she won't be able to drive for a few weeks anyway, so you're the go-to man. You go-to the grocery store, go-to do the laundry, go-to get dinner (or make it if you're a good cook!) and you'll get to go-to many other things - the Mom and child will need.

Doctor's Orders: This is the first pediatrician showdown within the week. It's like a meet-and-greet but with more stethoscopes.

This is an easy visit: weight, length, and a general conversation with the parents.

I cannot stress this enough: if you or Mom is uncomfortable with the pediatrician you see at first, find another one. You know what is best for your child; if your gut tells you something, listen to it. If you aren't comfortable with the doctor, but Mom is, agree on this: being on the same page makes all the difference in parenting. It's teamwork!

Week 2: Getting into the Groove

Baby 2.0: Now, with more awake time and a budding personality. However, there is still plenty of crying.

At this point, your child's crying will turn from a soft "Wah…" to an ear-piercing screech that will make you wish you carried earplugs around permanently.

It doesn't happen this week. The crying might seem overwhelming, but the baby learns that the parents run when they cry.

Mom, the Warrior: Might still be on the emotional rollercoaster. Beware of mood swings; they are sneakier than a diaper blowout.

She gave birth to your Tiny Overlord. Trust me when I say she's had a rough nine months. She will need you to support her and understand that her hormones are simply readjusting themselves. It might come out in different forms: laughter, frustrations, anger, and even a cry or two.

If it occasionally gets aimed at you, don't take it personally. Hug her and tell her you love her. That's what she needs to hear.

Dad, the Night Owl: Master the art of delivering the baby for feedings and learn the sacred dance of the midnight bottle.

Woo-hoo! Everyone thrives on no sleep, said no one ever. Not only are you caring for a small child, but as much as your Mom will want to be with the baby, you need to step up, too. As much as it seems like it's easier if Mom gets up to take care of the baby, get up with her as often as you can.

These are the precious moments you don't get to see, smell, hear, feel if you don't get up. You'll be okay if you miss some sleep.

Doctor's Orders: Only if the pediatrician senses something's amiss in the Force during the first visit.

Week 3: Cry Translator Activated

Baby, the Enigma: Begins to communicate via an intricate system of cries. Good luck decoding!

You'll learn how to decode. Don't worry! Give yourself a break if you need help understanding it in a few days. You'll get there.

Remember that ear piercing below I warned you about?

Don't worry, it's not here yet.

Mom, the Sage: More in tune with her new role, but watch out for postpartum blues lurking around.

Postpartum is no joke. Your role in the family, though it has a lot of steps, is to protect them at all costs. If you notice that something is off with Mom's mood. Make sure to talk to her about it. Check-in with her daily, ask her how she's doing, and ask if there is anything you can do better.

Dad, the Support Rock: Keep the baby routine rolling and start your shift as chief soothe officer.

You've already seen a lot of diapers blow. Trust me, it's gross. If you have a little boy, you may know what urine tastes like now. But you're doing a fantastic job! Using a routine is the best way to keep you on the right path for all of you. It's not always easy, but when you fall off, jump right back up and keep trying.

Doctor's Orders: Keep the hotline open, but usually no visits unless there's a plot twist in your baby saga.

Week 4: Finding the Rhythm (or Not)

Baby, the Explorer: Begins to show signs of a sleep pattern. Keyword: 'begins.'

This is an exciting time for most parents. I always support implementing a sleep routine from the start. But it may still sink in right away. Be prepared to get woken up for a few hours a night still.

If you're using a sleep technique, the lil' overlord will probably be at every 3 to 4 hours at this point—if the technique works.

Mom, the Veteran: Getting the hang of it, but (if possible) could use a spa day or some pampering.

Suggest that she do something out of the house, if she can't drive, have a family member or one of her friends take her.

She needs a break, too; remember, if you go to work, you get away for a little while. You remember what other humans look like, and you remember that people actually make noise that doesn't sound like crying or isn't related to peeing, pooping, feeding, or sleeping.

It'll be good for Mom to remember what the outside world looks like, too.

Dad, the MVP: Now's your time to shine with feedings and sneak in some dad-baby secret handshakes.

Finding a special time to be with your child every day is an amazing opportunity. Don't waste it. You need to get in there and make your mark in parenting. It's not always easy, but these downtimes with the kids are the times that make all the exploding diapers, crying fits, and lack of sleep so worth it.

Doctor's Orders: Some pediatricians might call for a one-month checkpoint. Think of it as a level-up in the game of parenting.

Pro Tips for the First Month:

• Nap like it's an Olympic sport. Seriously, sleep whenever you can.

• Talk, don't just nod. Communication is vital, even if it's just grunts at 3 AM.

• Capture the chaos. Photos and videos are your best friends.

• Phone a friend. Or a relative, or a nanny, or Google. Help is always a good idea.

• Heat check! Check-in on your partner. Her mental well-being is key to success.

Safety Tips

Safe Sleeping: Always place your baby on their back to sleep on a firm mattress in a crib free of loose bedding, pillows, or stuffed animals to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Feeding Precautions: Be cautious with feeding. Ensure bottles are not too hot, and be aware of choking hazards. Hold your baby while feeding; never prop the bottle.

Car Safety: Ensure the car seat is installed correctly and the baby is securely fastened every time. The car seat should be rear-facing in the back seat.

This Week’s Dad Joke:

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam. Just like you'll be when you realize it's your turn for the midnight diaper duty!

Welcome to the Dad Club - where the days are long, but the years are short. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

Further reading: Settling in with your Baby, SIDS

If you find this helpful, don't forget to share this with other dads by forwarding this along.

Disclaimer
_{Always check with your partner and or pediatrician before implementing any new practices that involve your children. The information provided is meant for educational purposes. Please do your own research as I have provided my own thoughts, experience, and perspectives on the matter at hand.}