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Navigating the Eleventh Month of Fatherhood
Prepping for the Big One Year Birthday & Bed time routines.
Aurelio Valencia
March 14, 2024
Hello Dads! Your baby's first birthday is just around the corner, and it's time to start planning for the big day.
Let's also talk about sleep routines, developmental milestones, and what to keep an eye on.
Month 11 is about celebrating the journey so far and looking forward to more incredible moments. Keep up the great work, Dads!
The First Birthday Bash
Start Planning: Whether it's a small family gathering or a bigger bash, now's the time to start planning.
It may seem overwhelming to plan for the party, but here's a quick bullet list of items you actually need:
Venue
If you pick your home, you might need light cleaning.
Food—light refreshments if your window is two hours or less.
Cake (see my message about a smash cake below).
Theme with decorations and invitations.
Baby—because everyone wants to see them.
If people ask for presents, make a quick list on Amazon or a similar platform that will remove the need for people to ask and won't give you a chance of getting double anything. Yes, even if you say 'books,' you can get double these. Have a dedicated list of books to avoid having to return anything.
Choose a baby outfit that is also easily removable in case of a smash cake or diaper blowout.
Bam! That's all.
Your local superstore will have an aisle with everything you need, including plates, napkins, balloons, and party favors. But you don't have to go the extra mile for themed plates, napkins, etc. If you want to be cost-effective, regular paper plates will be fine, too. If you want to be fancy but still cost-effective, there are colored plates that you can get that are not in the party aisle that can help you with that.
Using a local superstore can get you in and out in one trip—most even have bakeries and cater food—but if you prefer to use mom-and-pop stores, that's okay too. Just dedicate a few hours to the shopping for the party instead of only one hour.
This party is for you and your older family members to celebrate. As much as you want to make things special for your lil' peanut, they won't remember.
Keep it Simple: Remember, this party is more for the memories. Don't stress too much about the details. Everyone will have fun at the party. Worrying over the bits and bobbles will add unneeded stress throughout your days leading up to it.
Remember that only about half of babies smash into a cake. The other half won't like their hands getting dirty, or they won't know what to do with it.
It's okay if you decide not to get a cake, balloons, or the works. A small place in your garage with an intimate setting will be fine to create memories.
(We celebrated my little guy's first bday with the grandparents in their garage. It was small and intimate.)
If you decide to go bigger, you can be as organized as you possibly can be, but you'll still probably end up with some form of madness or another while the party prep or party goings on is going on.
Keeping it simple will help you keep some sanity and will still help create amazing memories.
Theme Ideas: Consider a simple theme that's easy to manage and enjoyable for your baby.
Every generation has about four or five popular media themes. The iterations have gone from SpongeBob Squarepants (which, to be fair, is always funnier if you're an adult), Paw Patrol, Doc. McStuffins, and more.
If your baby has yet to see a TV screen, they probably don't know the latest craze. However, if you pick a theme, pick something simple. Spring days, rainbows, and sports themes are easy and cost-effective because they aren't tagged with an outrageous copyright fee.
Save your money for when your child is mooning over "Bluey" because it'll come soon.
Venue: Home or a baby-friendly venue is ideal. Keep comfort and convenience in mind.
If you have the money and no time, booking a venue is a great solution. Finding one that provides cake is even better. It will cost you, though—and it's not a small sum. You will also have a dedicated number of guests you can invite.
But then, you have no decorating and no cleanup. It truly is fantastic. At the end of the party, you'll have to put your presents in the car and drive away with your baby. It is a low-stress experience.
Most of the places I'm aware of do not provide food and refreshments. They allow you to bring food to feed your guests, and if the party block is only two hours, giving small sandwiches and bags of chips is appropriate.
If you don't want to spend the fee and don't mind having a group of people in your home, that's perfect too.
To keep it stress-free or low-stress, don't freak out about cleaning your entire house before guests arrive. If you have dedicated areas where people will be, do a quick once over and be done with it. The people are there to visit you and your baby, not to judge your house.
The people who love you aren't going to care because you're doing an amazing job with what you have, and what you have is a new baby, work, and a host of other important things to worry about.
Guest List: Keep it manageable. Too many guests can be overwhelming for your baby.
When your baby is overwhelmed, they will cry often and loudly to let you know they don't like what's happening. It puts stress on you, your baby, and the group you've invited. Everything you planned so hard for will be another reason to beat yourself up (even though the party is lovely and everything goes better than it seems).
Bedtime Routines and Sleep Training
Establish a Routine: If you haven't already, establish a consistent bedtime routine. It could be a bath, story, then bed.
**Warning: bedtime will be harder if your baby starts to realize you run whenever they cry. It will create a domino effect, and you may find that you're not sleeping at night because every time your baby cries, you go. They aren't doing this because you're doing anything wrong, but they are doing it because they love you and you are their world. They may not even realize they can calm themselves and be okay without you.
This stage is where things get tough. But you can be tougher. Hold firm to your resolve, and know that even when it feels crappy to hear your baby cry, you're helping them (and, by default, you) in the long run.
Consistency is Key: Same time, same "bedtime ritual" every night helps signal sleep time.
Give yourself at least three weeks on one routine. Generally it takes about twenty-one days for a habit to start forming (give or take a few days depending on where you look and who you talk to).
If you don't think it's working after then, try something new—but do that for three weeks also.
Patience Pays: Finding a routine that works might take a few tries.
Sleep Training Methods:
(Only use these if you and your partner fully agree and have checked with your pediatrician. I am not saying to use all these, but they are generally available out there.)
Ferber Method: Involves letting the baby cry for progressively longer periods before comforting them, teaching self-soothing.
Chair Method: Sit in a chair next to the crib until the baby falls asleep, gradually moving the chair farther away over time.
Pick Up, Put Down Method: Comfort the baby by picking them up when they cry, then putting them back down once they're calm.
No Tears Method: Focuses on creating a soothing bedtime routine without letting the baby cry it out.
Fade Out Method: Gradually reduce your presence in the baby's room at bedtime, helping them learn to fall asleep independently.
In case you are considering adopting a sleep regimen, it's important to remember that each methodology has its unique approach. Therefore, it's crucial to pick one that resonates with your parenting style, beliefs, philosophy, and your little one's temperament.
(Please do your research on the mentioned methods to get a deeper understanding)
Developmental Milestones
Walking Wonders: Generally speaking, many babies start walking by this age. If not, don’t worry; each baby has their own pace.
Babbling Beauties: Expect a variety of babbles and maybe a few recognizable words.
Cognitive and Social Skills:
Look for skills like responding to their name.
Simple problem-solving.
Interest in playing with others.
If Baby is Behind
Every Baby is Unique: Remember, babies develop at their own pace. However, if you're concerned, consult your pediatrician.
There is no harm in checking with a doctor. If the answer is "No, your baby is fine," then at least you know and have that information to quiet any anxiety. People who will continually point out that your baby isn't doing what they are "supposed" to be doing. (Feel free to roll your eyes at every person who says that to you. Blame me if you need to. It'll be cathartic, and I can handle it.)
Watch for Red Flags: Significant delays in multiple areas might need professional evaluation. Early intervention can be very effective. Listen to your gut on this one, even if it feels like you don't know what you're doing, you do. Just have faith in your parenting instincts.
Stay Positive: Encourage your baby's efforts, no matter how small.
Engage and Interact: More playtime can sometimes help in catching up.
Early Intervention Programs: If you have a child under three and need a second opinion — you may be interested to know that a government-sponsored program is available to help assess your child's developmental progress. A team of professionals will visit your home and conduct assessments in various areas, such as verbal communication, social skills, and motor skills.
If your child qualifies for the program, a personalized plan will be created to help them achieve their developmental milestones. This service is free of charge and can be accessed by searching for "Early Intervention Program" on your state's government website or Google.
Pro Tips
Encourage Exploration: Give them safe spaces to explore and learn.
Keep Communicating: Talk, sing, and read to your baby to aid their language development.
Encourage Walking: Safe spaces for practicing walking can be helpful.
Healthy Eating Habits: Introduce a variety of healthy foods in their diet.
Social Interaction: Arrange playdates or visits to encourage social skills.
This Week’s Dad Joke:
Why did the baby refuse to play hide and seek on his birthday?
He didn’t want to grow up and be found one year older!
Month 11 is about celebrating the journey so far and looking forward to more incredible moments. Keep up the great work, Dads!
Further reading: 11 Month old bedtime routine
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